Friday, March 23, 2012

Do Negative Comments Bother You?

My husband told our kids, "People can only succeed in insulting you if you allow them to." I think he was paraphrasing Eleanor Roosevelt when she wrote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
What great counsel! I witnessed yesterday what occurs when someone follows that advice. Here is what happened:
My son signed up for cooking classes. Oh my goodness,what grief he got from his brothers! "What?  Cooking class?  Isn't that class for girls?" "Why would a boy take a cooking class? You learn about spices!" "No way would I be caught dead in a cooking class!" Well, the son who is taking this class didn't care about these comments.  In fact, he ignored the comments completely. The intended sting from the remarks lost all power. Yesterday when my son came home from  his 3rd cooking class, those same brothers asked, "Oh, what did you make?"

139 comments:

  1. Way to go, your son is very wise.

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  2. That's exactly the way to take a negative and turn it into a positive.

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  3. Very wise young man. I'll bet his brothers will enjoy what he makes for them.

    Best,
    Bonnie

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  4. Great advice! So glad your son is able to shrug off the teasing and enjoy his classes.

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  5. Good for your son to completely ignore the remarks of his brothers! It takes real character to do that. His brothers will soon change their tune when he starts to come home with these tasty dishes!

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  6. What a strong young man your son is. I believe his brothers will benefit from these cooking classes he is taking. :) Thank you for praying for Kelcee, you have a sweet, caring heart.

    Blessings,
    <><

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  7. Good for him. My son did cooking too, they called it food technology! Daughter used to tease him but was always happy to eat what he made.

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  8. some of the most famous chefs are are men. & they can cook really great. so he is following in some really great men's footsteps. best wishes to him in that path. (:

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  9. Good for your son. It's not easy to always stand for what's important for you or what you believe in. I know that negative comments bother me more than they should :(

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  10. good boy....what a great attitude he has x
    happy weekend
    love jooles x

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  11. Hurray for your son. Cooking class, he sounds like a very stable and confident person. Great guy. Hugs, Marty

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  12. I am so glad he didn't let the negative comments spoil it for him! The others will be lining up to eat his "lessons"! Great job raising a self-assured son!

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  13. Good for him. I think it is important for boys and girls to learn to cook, it will only help them in the long run.

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  14. I know that sometimes kidding can be really destructive because the barbs hurt. Glad your son shrugged it off! xo Diana

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  15. Good for him! When you like to do something you should go for it, no matter what people say.

    He'd so totally fit in with our family we have two real chefs who are male, classically trained, one self taught chef again male.

    And this thrills me to death, my eleven year old grandson wants to be a chef, he has his own knife and is cooking already, yippee for the boys in the kitchen!

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  16. Hi, I was about to tell you to take him to a nice restaurant where you know it is a male chef but what happened sounded even better.
    Have a great weekend.
    Noreen

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  17. Good for him! I think its AWESOME he's taking cooking classes!
    www.rockpaperscissorscreate.blogspot.com

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  18. This son is going to have his brothers eating out of his hand before long. Good for him.

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  19. Personally, I'd prefer that if someone does not have anything nice to say that they don't say anything! But we all know that is not the case in our society so let the negatives rip and I'll be ready with a comeback! Good for your son.

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  20. Your son will have a happy life if he keeps on following his desires and dreams and not let negativity slip in...:)

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  21. Your son sounds like he's a leader. :) I love it!!!

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  22. Good for him!!! My favorite saying about how to deal with negative comments is..."Don't let anyone ever live in your head without paying rent!"

    Have a wonderful weekend!!!

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  23. If my oldest son would of been more like your son he would be a chef today. He loves to cook but when he was younger must of thought like your other boys... that's for girls. He says now he wished he would of gone to cooking school.

    ~Bliss~

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  24. I love it!
    The woman who marries him will be so grateful :)

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  25. Forgot to say - thanks for stopping by my blog and becoming my newest follower :)
    I'm about to be yours!

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  26. LOVE IT. And his brothers may be eating at his famous restaurant some day!

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  27. Fabulous post!!! What a wise son you have :)

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  28. It used to be mandatory for boys to take home ec when I was in school... a long, long time ago. At least he won't starve... :)

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  29. Wow! I am really impressed, not only with him choosing to take the class, but for not letting the comments of his siblings bother him. Good for him! I can't wait to hear about all he makes, too! :-) Our oldest son loves to bake and is always making us some kind of cake or cupcakes. :-) Hope you have a great weekend! Many blessings, Lisa

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  30. Good for him!
    And his wife someday will be very happy that she has a husband who can cook! Skills for life. :)

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  31. Cooking is one of the skills that all men should develop. Well done to your son:-)

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  32. AND... what did he make?
    They don't even offer cooking classes around here anymore!

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  33. I love your posts...and have you ever noticed that you have some of the most comments than any blog I have ever read!! I have tagged you in a post for The Versatile Blogger if you would like to pass it on.

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  34. BRAVO! Good going, Mom and Dad!

    I used to care then a miraculous thing happened... I turned 40. Now I don't care all that much anymore. Now it's completely dependent on who it comes from and how much I value their opinion.

    He's going to be a lady killer! Who doesn't love a man who can cook?!

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  35. I admire your son, really! I wish I had that same ability to ward off negative comments like shooing a fly. I easily get affected by them, I have to admit. That's one skill I want to teach my daughter. But, how can I teach it to her, if I myself am lacking in that aspect? I must work on myself first, then...

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  36. Thanks for dropping by my Retirement Daze and commenting. What a wonderful lesson your son has taken to heart and applied successfully! And he will never regret becoming at home in the kitchen! Have a great weekend!

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  37. You just might end up with a great Chef in your family. Good for him for ignoring his brothers. One day, they will be wanting him to make them dinner.

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  38. It takes a mature and self-confident personality to not be crushed by criticism. It took me a lot longer to get there (there's something to be said for getting older!).

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  39. The next best chef!! Good for him!

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  40. *Love* that quote. Isn't it crazy how much the negative stands above the good? It's sad, really... If there's one thing I want to teach my kids, it's to have confidence, to have good self esteem... I think this is the base for so much...

    Great post! :D

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  41. And the next thing you know they will be wanting to eat his cooking creations. :-D I think it is great - good for him!
    Thanks for stopping by.
    Enjoy your weekend.

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  42. just wait --- next they'll be begging him to cook them some grub! mark my words. a mans stomach will rule out any need to continue making fun of their brother.

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  43. Oh, good for him! Great story and lesson!! ~Heather @ http://lovelybeautifulsmiles.blogspot.com

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  44. You and your hubby must be doing something right, because you have some very special kids. Before you know it, your other boys will be wanting to learn how to cook, too. (My 40-year-old son does almost all the cooking for his wife and kids.)

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  45. What a smart boy you have it will be funny to see him cooking for his brothers.
    ~Jazmin

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  46. Good for him! You have so many inspiring children!

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  47. Now I'm interested to know what he cooked. It must be really delish since he knows what he wants and he went for it :)

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  48. so admire your son for his strength of character, not being bothered at all nor pressured by the negative comments about attending cooking class, so happy for him.

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  49. I could definitely take a page out of your son's book!

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  50. Well if your son grows up to become a chef then he will get the last laugh as some of those chefs make great money.......and good on him for not letting his brothers get him down. I was picked on and teased when I was at school but I never let on that the things the bullies said bothered me........

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  51. I try not to let negative comments hurt my feelings. But they sometimes do. This is wonderful advice! Thanks!

    Your son will be a hit with the ladies when he cooks for his dates one day. :) Girls love that!

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  52. Well, your son has a lot of good sense because he's got wise parents to counsel him. I'm sure they will all appreciate his skill real soon.
    By the way, I would like to invite you to join my giveaway which is Food Network's Magazine 1000 Easy Recipes. Not many people are participating and I have 5 copies to giveaway. I'm sure you and your son could put this recipe book to good use.
    Details are here:
    https://www.facebook.com/ValueBookshop/app_239406449439539

    Hope you join in. I am curious to see what you cook for 8 children?

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  53. Good for your Son! I know that you will encourage him and he will have the MOST incredible experience:) Have a blessed day, HUGS!

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  54. Well done for your Son! Blessings.

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  55. Good for him, a lesson that will take him far! ox

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  56. I have seven sons - who all love to cook - many far better than I. They have taught me about spices. As for the negative comments - I have issues with that. I could learn something from your son!

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  57. thanks for this post. Just the other day I let a comment bother me and then I finally took a good look at it and told myself that it didn't matter and that it only matters what God thinks!

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  58. and thanks for following my blog...u have a wonderful blog too...i will follow for sure :)

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  59. Yay for you son!Always stick up for yourself and do what YOU want to do not what others say you should or should not do.I hope he is enjoying his class.

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  60. Oh my goodness....brothers!!! I swear, there is always that sibling rivalry that just never ends. Be it jealousy, or just plain useless bullying. Your son who wants to learn to cook could become another Wolfgang Puck and THEN just see what his siblings have to say 'bout that when they come to him for a loan....

    OSPREY's 'catch of the day'...come on over to view a couple of magnificent images of the regal bird if you have some time!!!

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  61. Love it!! I completely agree. No matter what you do, someone is always going to say something negative and it's up to you to either let it affect you or shrug it off. Good for your son :)

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  62. Too funny, see that's what happens. I bet the older brothers are wondering if they should have taken the cooking classes too??

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  63. your son is very wise on that. he's gonna rock!

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  64. Hurtful words are quicker to be released than what the Bible wants us to do...to not let unwholesome words come out of our mouths...I just went through that episode yesterday but I had to confront and let that person know as sometimes I think, to them it's supposed to be funny when they let out bad words that can hurt others. She apologized only to try to make points that I was the one wrong for being so sensitive. In short, it was my fault when I was the one being called a "bad" word. So I told her I didn't want her apology if she wanted to make it known that she was the one right, then there was no sincerity in that apology, I'd rather not accept that. A light turned on...She did apologize from her heart. I wasn't making a point either. I just wanted her to see that there is power in what we say and how true from the Bible that our tongues can easily ruin relationships in matter of seconds when some take a lifetime to build them.

    So grateful for the "footprints" you left on my site. Nice to meet you! Thanks for following me. Right back at you. So...let's follow the Footsteps in this narrow pathway! God bless.

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  65. I love it! He will delight a future wife with his cooking skills!

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  66. Ah - that's wonderful that he is finding his on way in the talent pool. I hope he likes cooking!

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  67. My mom taught me early on that the best way to not be picked on was to appear to be unbothered by any and all negative comments. At first I only pretended, but after a while I really didn't mind what my siblings or kids at school said in an attempt to bring me down. I am now officially thick-skinned!

    =)

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  68. "Isn't that a class for girls?"

    Duh....That is why you take the course!


    Cranky Old Man

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  69. Too true! Laugh it off, and it will bug the bugger more than you!

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  70. Good for him! Ignoring negative comments isn't always easy, especially when they come from peers--or siblings!

    By the way, that Eleanor Roosevelt quote is one of my favorites!

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  71. Most great chefs are men.

    I am also great in the kitchen. Sadly, no one agrees except my dog.

    God bless.

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  72. It is really true that no one can make us feel bad without our permission! Things will hurt us, for sure, but if we are confidant enough in ourselves, like your son, we will be able to go our OWN way, and not fololw the crowd.

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  73. I love it! He will make one woman so happy!!

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  74. Your son sounds like a very wise young man -- of course he has good influences. I find that negative remarks bother me, but rarely make me change my course.

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  75. Negative comments just make me analyze the situation behind the comment that was made. If I feel I need to make an adjustment then I do it. If I disagree totally, then I ignore it.

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  76. Love that quote. What a neat lesson for all of your boys. Have a great week

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  77. Good for him! I would love it if my son wants to cook (in the FAR future-he's only 11 months!) I LOVE to cook and would have loved to make a career out of it. I would be proud if my son became a chef...or at least enjoyed cooking! (Just think how happy his wife would be?!!) We live in a society today filled with stereotypes and by consequence live our lives to make others happy. Kudos to you for raising such a strong-minded independent son! ;-)

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  78. LOL. A good thing he didn't pay attention to any of his brothers. What a great quote. Your family sounds like mine. So many opinions and inputs. Thank you for following on my blog. So wonderful to always meet new people here.

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  79. Good for him and I think the brothers may have learned something too.

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  80. Awww that is awesome! That boy has learned well :)

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  81. Good for him. If you look around most of the great chefs are men.

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  82. They might think again when he puts a plate of delicious food he made in front of them!

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  83. That is cool. Good for him. sandie

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  84. Good for him! Knowing how to cook is going to come in real handy, especially when he's able to prepare an awesome meal for his girlfriend. That will be impressive:-)

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  85. Good for him, smart young man :)
    And I bet when those brother's are hungry they'll be sorry they teased him!

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  86. Your son sounds like an amazing boy. Well done on raising such a terrific guy.

    Tami

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  87. Good for your son for doing what he wants! Thanks for following Mommy Time Out

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  88. Good for him! Let him know that only true individuals make their mark on this world. He should follow what he loves!

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  89. Good for your son. Some day his brothers will wish that they would have taken a cooking class.

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  90. My husband is an EXCELLENT cook- one of the many wonderful qualities that keeps this wife so happy. You tell your boy to just keep on keepin' on!

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  91. Good for your son!!
    It's so hard not to let negative comments bother you and your son just stood on his own ground, AMAZING!!
    I'm a grown up and still learning how to do that.
    I'm the ONLY person who can decide to be happy or angry, no matter what other people say.It seems easy but so darn hard!
    I'm applauding to your son!

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  92. Way to go for your dear son! I love the quote by Mrs. Roosevelt, one of my favorites. A wonderful lesson for the kids, and for us...a great reminder!
    Thank you :)
    xoxo,
    - Irina

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  93. cooking classes for boys sound great! I think men are best chefs! :D

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  94. Great quote...I got the first negative comment EVER on my last post...and I guess it did bother me....

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  95. Wow, good for him. It's not easy ignoring negative comments.

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  96. He sounds as a young man with a divine purpose in training! I sometimes do allow the negative to fashion my mood or cloud my sight....may I be as strong as your young man!

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  97. Cooking class! That's so fun. I would love for one of my boys to take cooking class when they're older!

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  98. Thanks SOOOOO much for coming by A Creative Spirit.

    LOVE that your son is taking cooking classes. Who knows, he may be the next famous chef. Good for him for ignoring his brothers and maybe he will make them "EAT" their words some day.

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  99. In time, he will be VERY popular with the ladies. A guy who cooks, a plus. I know, because I don't.

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  100. It take good self esteem and confidence to be able to do what your son did. You need to be praised for raising a son who is able to ignore the jibes.

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  101. Hi there! Thank you for following my blog. I always appreciate whenever my quiet blog receives new comments and visits.

    I admire your son. In as much that he wants to venture to cooking, I am a girl who doesn't even know how to cook. LOL

    Happy weekend!

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  102. What great council!! I love that your son is strong enough not to let comments bother him. Sometimes the most hurtful ones come from our own family. Thanks for stoppin' by my blog and the kind comment. I am happily following you back.

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  103. Good for him! a strong minded young man.

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  104. Your son is a wise man.. he knows all the great chefs are men, and that cooking, one day will be a great way to impress the girls....

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  105. Way to go! I'm glad to hear that he didn't fold under pressure.

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  106. Wow, that is impressive that he is so resolute at such a young age. Good for him!

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  107. What a great story. It must have taken a lot of courage for your son to go to that class. Who know maybe he'll become a world famous chef from that one decision, not to cave to peer pressure.

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  108. I just had a conversation similar to thins with some of my family.... Some of us had to agree to disagree... They feel like people should just not say mean things.... Well if only we lived in a perfect world huh?

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  109. Good for him! It's amazing how someone doing something that may be viewed as different is criticized and how that usually means it's something for the good, that the person believes in. Pretty cool he went ahead and did it anyway... took courage! Good lesson for all!

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  110. Every man should learn to cook, good for your son. My hubby didn't know how to boil water when we got married fast forward 35 years and he is a wonderful cook and loves it! Thanks for stopping by, Laura

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  111. KUDOS to your son! Hey, the greatest chefs in the world are normally men so, I always wonder about the gasps a man would receive when he announces he is interested in a cooking class.

    Spanish Pinay

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  112. Knowledge of any kind has no boundaries and no constraints. Your son showed great maturity in what he did. Congrats to you for raising him right.

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  113. haha, he's going to make a great husband!!

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  114. good for him! i told my nephew, when he went off to college, to take a cooking class. girls love a guy that can cook, right?!

    [oomph.]

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  115. Nice! I love the way you narrated it! Good luck to your son.

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  116. I adore his determination to pursue what he really likes doing. He has a long way to go. Awesome kid, lucky parents! :)

    ~Lisha

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  117. Excellent!!!! I love confident kids who can't let others tell them what is okay for them to like! He must have some good parents raising him... ;o)

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  118. wonderful lesson. your blog is great!! after 8 kids, i will definitely be following you for advice along the way. as i'm sure you've seen it all!!!

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  119. Good for your son! He is very smart!

    New follower to your blog and love it! :)

    www.tippeecanoe.com

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  120. Awesome! You're right, negative comments are powerless if you don't allow them to bring you down.

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  121. Negative comments do spur me on to do what people think I can't do. :) Thanks for stopping by and following my blog. I am following you now too.

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  122. At some point his brothers may even realize that a cooking class is a great place to meet girls!

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  123. If there was a 'like' button for this post, I'd have clicked it.

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  124. What a gift your son has...to know how to ignore the voices of critics... I learned much later in life but am thanking God to have learned it! Now, I'm trying to pass that on to my own boys!

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  125. Haha boys will be boys! Women loves a man that can cook :)

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  126. It sounds like you have so much fun with all those kids! Love it!

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  127. Hey some of the best chefs in the world are men!!

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